did anyone had a good sleep last night? i hope you did, cause i didnt.

it was 1,2 or 3 plus in the morning. i was having a splendid dream about speaking to Joel Madden from Good Charlotte, Pierre was just hanging around [perhaps, waiting for me=)] [omg, joel & pierre tog in a dream!]. Joel was trying to explain something complex [i cant remember what] then for some [irritating] reason, i woke up. my brother was in my room and seeing me awake he said,

"Eh Joyce, you know what happen to my com?"

my first reaction was, @#$%^&* for interrupting my beautiful dream. but then i remembered something... something that happened before...

my parents are obsessed with saving electricity/water/food/blah blah. i think its natural to wanna save money cause the utility bills are just so expensive nowadays and we are no rich family. and i guess in the past, both my parents were really poor, they couldnt afford basic neccesities, so it instilled in them this habit of saving. well, its not a bad thing. seriously. but my parents carry it to the extremes. its like, if i didnt turn off the light when i walked out of the room for more than 5 minutes, i get a shelling. or if i forgot to switch off the fans before i leave the house, its some huge sin. no, im not trying to say im right either.

my brother and i, we are both absent minded in some sense [and as jaclyn would tell you, im EXTREMELY absent-minded] back to the story, my brother has been in trouble a couple of time of falling asleep in front of the com and leaving his fan, lights, com, modem, radio all on for the entire night. it happened a few times and my parents blew their top. so yesterday, before we left the house for church, my mom asked my brother if he had turned off all the switches in his room, my brother said yes.

so when we got home, my mom was astonished that my brother's com, modem, radio were on through that 2 hours plus. she started grumbling and told my dad. needless to say, my dad was hell pissed. in his pissed-ness [english: anger], his face livid, he pushed and barged through me, marched into my brother's room, and unplucked my brother's com and moved it to the storeroom. [ok, he didnt take the whole cpu, i have no idea what he did, but i think he unplugged a few wires so the com cant be turned on]

then the next hour i was drummed with all the nagging to thin air by my mother and my father since my brother wasnt home. my dad said stuff like,

"this is a condo, even if i go bankrupt, i will not be able to pay if this whole building burnt down!" [he repeated this twice and another time when my brother got home]

my mom:
"how can he be so responsible? i felt so cheated that he lied to me. he's already 20 years old, an adult. this is not the first time!"

geez. i thought that was the end of it after both my parents ran out of things to say [ok, i sound mean, but really!] i went to sleep hoping to wake up the next morning with the whole house in peace again. but was i wrong, when my brother got home about 1,2 or 3 am, the nagging/scolding/arguing continued. i tried not to listen, but when it's so early in the morning, its freakingly quiet. you can hear every single word.

in my parent's defence however, i felt it was right for them to reprimand my brother since this isnt the first time. but i felt totally disgusted by what they said. like my dad for example, getting bankrupt? is money all he thinks about? if he says that many lives would be lost if the whole building burnt down, i might not ne so agitated, but bankrupt?! and my mom, "cheated"? geez, its not like my brother purposely lied to you! i know its possible for the circuit to catch fire since my brother has many plugs there. but still, its a little ridiculous right?

however, applause should be given to my brother. when my parents [ganged] up to scold him, he NEVER once lost his temper. he was pissed yes, you can hear from his tone. but he was also apologetic, he apologised and tried to explain. but my parents just ruthlessly cut him off time and time again with "justin, you are already old enough/you should be more responsible/what happens next time when you start your own family?" he never got his chance to explain. my brother is very bad-tempered, in the past, if such things happened, he would just stomped away without giving any hoot about my parents. but now, he tried to cool himself down and apologised/explained to them. im not trying to say we should start throwing parties and celebrate this new found quality in my brother, neither am i saying that my brother is not in the wrong. im just wondering, cant my parents shut up for once and LISTEN? my brother [and i, eavesdropping] have been listening to them all the time [and all these years], cant they just stop and listen to my brother for a fraction of a second before cutting him off? is it that difficult?

they remind me of a charging bull that just wants to get their point across. they dont give a shit about others. i know they want to discipline my brother. but shouldnt they be fair and listen too? again, i know that my brother is wrong, but doesnt he have the right to explain himself?

i guess, in some way, im disgusted with myself too. i felt strongly against their words and their actions. but i was just too afraid to speak up against them. i dont mean arguing, but speaking nicely in a polite tone. but i guess im just too timid! but then, i got into enough trouble with my dad over the chalet and i didnt want to agrivate the situation further by butting in. and its not like as if my parents will listen to what i say.. but still, i felt like i betrayed my brother somehow, am i over reacting?

geez, i know that every parents have this in-built thing in them to be concerned with their kids. but i feel the issue with the saving electricity is blown out of proportion. its not some huge crime right? my brother and i, though rude, rebellious or disobedient have been your average kids. we dont smoke, do drugs or drink [my brother only goes clubbling like once a month!] we dont have multiple relationships, neither do we engage in pre-marital sex or murdered anyone, stole or hurt anyone [physically of course] we never go around torturing or bullying anyone. we choose our company properly, have postitive friends, are independent thinkers. [ok, i sound like im blowing my trumpet] we have our rough times, but we still managed them well.

i dunno. im confused.

geez, what do you think?

28 August 2004