cc4. wow, its over. i still remember having this dread on going for church camp. 'cause last years camp was torture man. so feeling apprehensive, i stepped into church and see a group of people. found charlene (c2). the teachers collected the handphones and wallets of those who surrended it. i didnt. [naughty me] haha. anyway, was glad that my group had marian in it! at least i know somebody. we were a small group just 6 of us at first; marian, louis phua, leon, emmanuel, timothy n i. facils [y.f youth facilitators, i think] were alan and lynette. at first, my grp was super duper quiet lor. poor alan, he seemed kinda lost when we all didnt wanna speak up... but after lynette came and joined us, and the more sharings we have, we opened up more. so thats good:)

the first day was full of sharings and teachings... sat until my butt ached. i had diarrhoea too. its was horrible. so suay. our dinner was special. the facils made it into some banquet and we were told to dress our best. since my best was the clothes i reserved for mass, i wore that. dinner was "seven course" not exactly, but it was good. oh, this time, the food was quite good, i must say. anyway, we had dinner outdoors, under the night sky and the stars. took pictures, had ice-cream, exchanged "gifts". it was all fun. the cathecists [teachers] dressed up really nicely. melissa looked fabulous. [of course im biased, but she really was stunning] after that, it was praise and worship and francis [one of the cathecists] talking and it was snoozed time. and of course we didnt snoozed immediatly. stayed up late to chat. we all squeezed so diane could bunk with us. its was really great that we can all bunk tog again, just like our cc2'02. none of them wanted to share the bed with me, cause my bed is spoilt and it can collapsed anytime. was kinda freaked out when i sleep on it, but i did managed to survive. thank you god!

second day started with more teachings and yiss. afternoon reflection time in preparation for that nights praying over. michelle wu came during then too and joined our group. michelle [another one, the cathecist] did a presentation on the devil and the performance put up by martin, lynette and others were hilarious. esp, martin, being the devil was damn funny. i had gastric and the pain nearly killed me. though esther gave me medicine to take, it still hurt like mad. *sigh* i hate gastric!

we had confession and 4 priests from our parish came. i got a franciscan priest and he was really nice. his advice was something to lead the life the way i want to and not be affected by others. he also said that gossiping or putting down people is a way of assuring oneself. so when others gossip or say bad things about you, dont be affected, cause it just shows that THEY are the ones with the self-confidence problem, not you... dont you guys agree? after thinking, i find it quite true. he also gave me advice on this problem of forgiveness that i've been struggling for over a year. although i myself know the solution to it, its still really hard to carry it out. but after father said it, i felt much better and have confidence that i will be able to do it. *prays hard*

while waiting to go for confession cause there are 70+ of us, francis told this story about the irish boy which was kinda sad. maybe if i have the time i'll tell you the story, cause its really long. basically its about this irish boy who waited for 15 years for something.

night time was mass and praying over. father charles from st ignatius church [i think] came. he was from the jesuits and he told us this jesuit joke. it was hilarious. the mass was different in certain ways, it seemed relaxed but more serious. after the liturgy of the word, we had the praying over. i cried like mad after last years praying over. this year, i really wanna "get slain" though i know that it doesnt really matter. so i prayed really hard for the holy spirit, for god to send the holy spirit, to touch me, to speak to me. i also pray for god to heal my eczema, gastric and to better the relationship with my family. justin [NOT my brother] came over and prayed over me. while he was laying hands on me, i felt this warmth and pressure at my forehead; forcing itself down into my whole body, my palms and my feet also had a similar feeling.

god did send the holy spirit and i thank god for that. after the praying over, i felt totally at peace. during these few months, i was really bitter with stuff happening at home, my brother, my mom, my dad. stuff happening in school.

after the outpouring. we continued with mass. communion was a little different, we dipped the body of christ into wine. mmm, i love the wine. really wanted to drink up the whole chalice actually=) [diane later said it was some kind of cherry wine thats why it tasted sweet] when mass ended, we sang more songs. everyone was feeling really high, so it was fun. father charles told another jesuit joke. haha. then we had a little sharing before it was supper time! the whole gang were a little high esp c2. maybe cause we were all feeling so high. we made lynette play a game and she lost cause we werent exactly honest people. :p but in the end there wasnt enough time to do the forfeit. sigh. lights out was at 12 i think. but we didnt sleep until 1 plus. i rmb diane and i were singing peanut butter song and other action songs. 'cause we were making alot of noise, and our room was just beside the facils. we got "scolded" by paul. hmph.

well, its the end of the cc4. im glad i survived 4 years of cat. class. nah, actually, it isnt so bad. i enjoy cat class alot. i enjoy mel's n adeline's teachings. i enjoy the sharings we had [esp. lynette's jacuzzi moment] and the short skit we did during the second day during cc4 [esp. louis "powerful" spiritual leader] and im glad i got warm fuzzies [letters]. i hav one box of them now. i didnt really wanna go home, cause after our confirmation we arent gonna see each other so much anymore. really big thank you to marian, charlene [c1], charelene [c2], diane, mich. you guys made this journey so much more fulfiling. gonna miss you guys.

ok. im drained now. gonna sleep... i might change my blog. no idea yet. in the mean time, god bless and god nite!