watched pirates of the carribean ytd. totally luv it. luv e 2 characters, jack sparrow n will turner. e plot was quite gd. many twists n turns. i seriously dun find any fault wif it. luv it, wanna watch it again. if can...
cleo was mentioning tat my blogs are all so angry sounding? hmm,come to think of it i only blog when im piss off... maybe cuz wanna "let loose" this feelings, get it off me, tats y i blog? i dunno. after blogging, it makes me feel better. well, so trying to blog more often.
read my bro's blog e other day. he's blog is really damn vulgar. e whole blog is full of fucks. now i noe y i like to say it too. it's e influence i guess... im gonna stop reading his blogs anw, cuz he doesnt wan me to. contary to wat others might think, i DO hav some intergrity.
ytd was editing script. n they were playing e who kick my dog thing. personally, i dun find anything funny wif it. but then, tat's my opinion. there was one part, where someone said something really mean about someone else. gosh, i din knew tat e clazs' opinion is so bad of the someone else. i use to think she was really bad. n totally hated her to the core. but now, its ok lar. i tink everybody has his or her gd points rite? u juz gotta take e gd wif e bad. but wat that someone said about someone else was really really mean. true though. worst thing, the someone else doesnt even realise it. dun get it? haha, sorry, cant elaborate. but i tink cleo n yip might get it. at least a little.
juz now. was reading history n online as well. jia ling said tat somebody wanna tell me tat i change alot n its not for e better. well well well. guess who? she doesnt wanna say too. but i bet its zhen yan. he's e only one who (think,maybe) noes me very well. i mean, after all e years rite? (6.5 yrs) i myself dun even think i noe him tat well. after all, if i rmb correctly, im onli in e same claz as him for one yr. in pri 3. i tink tats all, we were all in different classes after tat. so i seriously dun even noe him tat well, juz tat sometimes, he can be a bit ... hmm, rather not say it. but if he thinks i change alot. well, so DO i. he's not like tat in e past. but then since i dun noe him tat well, im no rite to say anw. just exactly how u define how well u noe one person? tats tough rite. i knew this girl for years now, n i tink i noe her e best, n she still does things to shock me. it kinda makes me tink very well whether i noe her as well as i tink i did. argh, somebody has to define well.
anw y am i so sure its him? hmm, cuz besides tat, only cleo tinks i've change. (not for e better too) n cleo isnt e type who goes around talking. she's really very loyal to frenz. though she prob start thinking twice abt me too. im not surprise. its like as if, i've morphed into a dragon or something. anw, im not gonna think (or do) anything of whether i've change for e better or for worse. now juz wanna concentrate on studying. everything else is not tat important. can worry later.
*note: tis part maybe very bhb*
oh yeah. cleo was saying tat im being very mean to zhen yan and biased too. alot of ppl (well i noe 2 its gonna be more, trust me) think so too lar. cuz he likes me, tat's y im avoiding him? being very mean to him? i was juz thinking, if he does like me, y e hell am i being mean to him? or avoiding him? well, when i heard rumours tat he like me, i thot it was pure gibberish. cuz zy n i (supposedly) noe each other quite well, wif all e stuff abt e same pri sch n knowing veyr long n stuff. but then after er, a couple of conversation, i kinda got e msg. its nice being "like", "notice". wateva u put it. so y e hell am i being so mean to him?
gonna change direction for a while. rmb pue jung? n wat dey use to say in 1/3 or 2/3? n i guess tease for a year abt all tat rumours? well, was i being very mean to pj? i doubt so. he's really an ok person. i can still rmb playing neopets wif him tons of time. getting trash by him in neopets. but still keep playing wif him? n abt all e time we were chatting until quite late (12 am) last time on msn? n all e sms-ing? my bills were horrible. (now, its worst) as i've said b4, its nice being "notice". in case u din realise, im quite an attention seeking girl. and i felt really ... pleased. he neva said anything. but he's frenz did. i didnt ignore him.
if i didnt ignore him....
then y am i being so mean to zhen yan?
i seriously dun noe. i tink its juz his being tat juz irks me . its just e way he is. its not fair to him but then, life's unfair. when i talk to him, i just feel really irritated. wanna scream my head off at him. y? dun ask me. when i talk to others, at least, im like normal. so i juz kinda ignore him. its better than screaming at him rite? but everytime, i kinda avoid him, he tinks im piss wif him, n he will KEEP asking whether im piss wif him. it juz irks me even more. i dunno y.
so now, im trying to control n be really nice. but its really hard k. try being sane around e person u totally dislike. its juz difficult. but not impossible. so before u guys out there all shoot me down for being an evil girl give me a chance. even if u dun, i myself am gonna.

05 September 2003